Höga berg och djupa dalar

Här sitter jag och panikar fredag kväll.
Hade min första intervju med en surrogatmamma inbokad till nu på söndag. Trodde jag alltså.
Frid och fröjd, kände att saker och ting börjat klaffa (förutom att jag var lite nojig över hur ljudinspelningen skulle bli på ett café och hur det skulle gå med tolken). Fick dock i eftermiddag veta att de bokat in inte mindre än 10 (!) kvinnor till intervju på söndag eftermiddag. Och att de tyckte att skulle räcka med 20 min för varje intervju (istället för en timme som jag sagt), så jag kunde ju göra dem med någon sorts löpande band-teknik. Efter några paniksamtal och mejl verkar det nu ordna sig någorlunda och jag ska ha fem intervjuer imorgon och fem på söndag, fördelade över hela dagarna. Även om det inte är det optimala så är det den bästa lösningen skulle jag tro. Och sedan hoppas jag kunna återkomma till någon av kvinnorna och träffas för ännu ett samtal. Så ikväll sitter jag och dubbelkollar intervjuguiden, hetsläser lite om intervjuteknik och skrattar.
För hur klyschigt det än må låta så blir det aldrig som en tänkt sig.
Fast det kan bli bra ändå.

Och hej och hå tänker kanske ni, "det är ju bara en uppsats schmuppsats".
Sant. Ibland behövs en realiyt check.
Men just nu är denna uppsats min lilla bebis och jag försöker hitta min roll i vår relation. Jag vill så gärna kontrollera varenda steg den tar, men jag förstår ju att jag inte kan det, att andra kommer att vara med och påverka dess process, men att det kan bli bra ändå och att jag någon gång kanske stolt kan klippa navelsträngen.

Men inte ännu. Först ska vi skratta, gråta och bonda med varandra.   

Good days for being a stay-at-home-dad

Having been here for eleven days it is time for the requested entry in english.

Life here is good! (well, I can only speak for a ‘rich’ tourist like myself) Food is tasty, readily available at every corner, and cheap. And being from Sweden it is surprising how amazingly sweet and tasty the “exotic” fruits really are.

It’s my fifth time in Thailand but it’s the first time I felt a strange mix of anxiety, loneliness and longing for home during the first nights. I believe it was my imagined anxiety of the kids that rubbed off on me. But already after about two days we got settled in at our apartment and the surroundings, so now it really feels like our home. We live on the border of the Sathon area, a luxurious area filled with embassies and expensive restaurants. Bangkok however is a city filled with contrasts. On our quiet ally (Soi Nawin) we have as our closest neighbours; the Brazilian ambassador, refugees (or working immigrants) from Burma, a school that plays songs every morning between 7 and  8 am (which is kind of nice ‘cause we’re anyway up with the kids by then), and a major elevated highway with car mechanics underneath. It’s a good area. It’s nice to get away from the commerce, especially the bars and massage places of the more touristy areas, and it’s still only a short and inexpensive ride with a taxi or tuk-tuk down town. And best of all, we have a swimming pool! A salvation for warm, tired and sometimes restless kids, and for me.

Brining along two kids makes travelling quite a different experience. People smile more. Ruth and Henry really are the centre of attention all the time. People make funny faces, arms constantly reach out to touch them, tickle, or give a massage. At first the kids were shy, now they are more used to it and sometimes think it’s funny and tries to say hello in thai, but Henry also has started running to my arms when a thai persons comes to close because he doesn’t want to be carried away to the kitchen or wherever. And they also get spoiled! It has even reached the point that they are disappointed when we walk past the hotell lobby and they don’t get a piece of chocolate from the staff, or they start to scream when we tell them that they can’t have another ice-cream right now :)

So what are we doing? The reason we got here in the first place is that Elina got a grant from SIDA to do a “minor field study” in a developing country. And even though Thailand is very developed in many ways, at least in parts of the country, it is still considered a developing country. The field studies are about interviewing surrogate mothers about their experiences. It seems to be a very unique work in a research field that has just started to emerge. So while it is a part of her masters thesis, it also has potential to give important impact on the research field. This project she has initiated and carry out all by her self, and I’m quite impressed and proud of her! (no pressure here Elina, you are here to learn, but I’m still sure you will do great)

The rest of us are hanging out by the pool :) Other highlights are pink taxis (they all have such boring colors in Sweden), tuk-tuk rides, giant malls (air-conditioned) to run around in, and banana-pancakes. And my personal favourite - sticky rice with condensed milk and mango. Possibly the most delicious thing there is! Speaking of food (and food is the most amazing thing), we have a small restaurant in the hotell which is called “The Terrace - fine dining”, and is located in the parking garage under the hotel. Fortunately the garage is not under ground and it serves quite tasty thai food.

The military coup has not been noticeable at all. It’s hard to say wether it was good or bad. In principle that kind of non-democratic take-over is never a good thing, but the situation before that wasn’t a good one either. And from a purely egoistic point of view I’m happy that the Lumpini park is no longer occupied so that we can get away from the traffic and enjoy the play-grounds :)

So being a stay-at-home-dad here is quite nice, and so far Elina has been with us most of the days (though she will be away more the coming weeks). At some point we will hopefully get the time to head out to some island, probably Koh Samet, and find ourselves a bungalow on the beach. That is something I have been dreaming of for months now, and then you can be sure to get your instagram feeds completely spammed!